I Recall A Time...

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I recall a time when we were happy, when love wasn't obligatory. It was a choice—it was my choice—until you made me regret it. No, you made me resent it. Loving you became agony. I was impeded by the very "us" I once sought to save. 

Circumstance, while a factor, could never rationalize your apathy. What do I have to do for you to see me? Not as a savior, but as a person? 

Now I fear silence because memory resides in it. I fear commitment because I was committed to you. I thought I might find solace, knowing you're haunted by this, but I found only myself. I never wanted to haunt you—only to be loved. 

Veritably loved, at that. Not for my sacrifice, but for my pieces. Tell me, would you love me if I were a raging tempest? Because that's exactly what I am; you were just too busy having your life saved to know it. 

I recall a time when I wrote "like the tide belongs to the moon, so do I belong to you." Back when I romanticized being your possession before something infernal possessed me. You couldn't hold fire, so you put it out. And so my soul has become intricate, unsuited for calloused hands. 

Now the line reads more like the tide belongs to the moon, so am I controlled by you. How powerful you are, to rewrite my scripture. How powerful you are to break vows we never made. How powerful you are in armor forged from my inner child. How powerful you are, to ruin my life, as if it were your own. How powerful you are that you've defeated me.

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