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The Point of No Return

To the boy—the occurrence—that hounds my dreams still. You had to have known the way my skin cindered beneath yours, and still, I held you. I chased you then and I chase you now, in the form of closure. Incongruous with all things tangible, it would seem that I chase nothing.  Unwillingly, you occupy my conscience. Against fate, I can still recall the delicacy of your touch. In vain, my heart beats, and however you materialize, my breath seeks you. I move on in strata, in seams. In a literary sense, in the seams to each anthology I penned. Allegorically speaking, my healing looks more like layers of the Earth; defined, veering, and known to erode over time—unlike you, forever existing in manuscript.  How does it feel knowing I made you immortal? That while you've become eternal, I've become a paradox? That is, I'm still alive, but it doesn't feel like it. I hold liberty to my name but remain bound to yours and in a multiverse of word and theme, my pen remains loyal to ...

I Recall A Time...

I recall a time when we were happy, when love wasn't obligatory. It was a choice—it was my  choice—until you made me regret it. No, you made me resent it. Loving you became agony. I was impeded by the very "us" I once sought to save.  Circumstance, while a factor, could never rationalize your apathy. What do I have to do for you to see me? Not as a savior, but as a person?  Now I fear silence because memory resides in it. I fear commitment because I was committed to you. I thought I might find solace, knowing you're haunted by this, but I found only myself. I never wanted to haunt you—only to be loved.  Veritably  loved, at that. Not for my sacrifice, but for my pieces. Tell me, would you love me if I were a raging tempest? Because that's exactly what I am; you were just too busy having your life saved to know it.  I recall a time when I wrote "like the tide belongs to the moon, so do I belong to you." Back when I romanticized being your possession befo...

I Am Not Your Substance

You don't know me—you know craving. You don't want me—you want feeling. Reassurance in the form of a kiss, that you are not alone in this life as you were in your last. I empathize with rain for I too fall in accordance with my nature. You relate to soil in that you need the rain.  What you feel is not longing. It's an  addiction.  You don't pine—you convulse. You don't embrace—you use.  But I am not your substance, and you are not my fiend. You see, I don't owe you any gratification. You feel unhappy in this world? Get a hobby. You lack all sense of purpose? Go find it. I do not find myself obliged to put meaning to your name. Nor is it my job to make your life almost worth living. I just can't fathom such infirmity, that relevance lies within the arms of a man. If I did that—put my worth in you—I would be worth nothing. Because  you  are nothing and I will not be an accomplice to this coup you've plotted against yourself.  I know better than to think...